Howdy All,
Well things have been a bit crazy around here and I am not sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing? On one side of it things have been so busy so I haven't had a moment to stop, think, and reflect; which keeps things easy on the anxiety and depression front. However, I feel like when I don't have time to reflect when I finally slow down and have nothing to do I am slammed with emotions. I really think I need to take that time each day to reflect and think about my day and how I can improve myself, my marriage, my relationship with my family and friends. I think sometimes we find ourselves wearing the many hats of being a wife, mother, maid, chef, driver, organizer etc. that we forget that we are just one person and can't do it all. In order to accomplish all of this I believe we must stop and think and reflect each day.
I have been so busy that I forgot this step. I really do love helping out my friends but I think I take on too much at times and even though people are asking me if I need help and I know I have some amazing friends out there that would help me if I just ask. Now that is another story, why do we find it hard to ask for Help?? Or why do we say yes to a million things before saying Yes to us first. Well no more.. I am on a mission to say yes to me first!! I don't think I am going to make it through the rest of the year if I don't. I think I will start this weekend.. We leave Thursday for the Frio and well I plan to turn off my device and try really hard to avoid facebook and just live in the moment with my Husband all weekend. It might be hard especially when our own pastors are facebookers too. I am ready to open my heart and ears to them this weekend and Pray that God gives me the message I am meant to hear and uses this time to strengthen our marriage. We don't really have many fights or problems, just a few things that irraite us but who doesn't have that. We decided this trip would be good for us though so we keep our marriage strong and find the tools to make it last till death do us part. Learning from other couples who share our christian values and have made their marriages work for so long. I think this is the reason that most of my friends are older than me.... I didn't say OLD I said older than me. They give us a that little extra wisdom because they have already went through what we are going through. I will admit that when I was a teenager I thought I knew it all like most teens do, but now I know that I don't and that I can always learn something from someone!
I am thinking of going back to school, I am a bit terrified of this. I know the field I am choosing would help the business I already have. However that risk is still hard. Paying for something and not knowing the outcome. I plan to also use this weekend away to pray and reflect and ask God to show me the direction he wants me to go! Don't get me wrong I am happy to be at home where he wants me now taking care of my family. I truly believe that he wouldn't of laid me off if this wasn't his plan and if its his plan for me to stay here a while longer I will go with it. However, I don't want to miss a sign or a plan that he has for me for the future. So I will need prayer and mediation about this.
We did get to go to the German Fest this past weekend. This is a family tradition for us. Hayleigh loves riding all the rides and walking around. I had a mother bear terrified for her young experience.. My sweet baby girl got on the roller coaster and she fell from the seat to the floor, they stopped the whole ride to check on her but she didn't want to get off even though two other kids got scared and wanted to get off. She went on to ride it around 7 more times and then got off. She rode this ride last year with no problem.. However we did move on to a few more rides that I didn't let her do last year and this made me sad, scared, and happy all at the same time. One was the swings, she only weighs 30 pounds I thought she was going to fly off those things, and then she has been waiting to do the vertical bungee jump and I always say your too little. I caved in this year and after waiting in line for an hour (it was the most popular ride) she finally got strapped in and ready. She went the highest in her weight group and did probably about 25 flips with 11 of them being in a row and she was the only one who didn't need help from the guy to flip. We had several people come up to us at the end saying how amazing she was and that she should be in gymnastics..Which I replied with thank you and she is in gymnastics. I was a proud momma at that point. We continued with hamaster balls, face painting, pony rides and other rides and of course yummy but horribly bad for you food...aka my turkey leg. Paul's corn dog, and Hayleigh's funnel cake!
I know some people think I spoil my child, but I only have one and do to my endometriosis I might not get another chance so I am going to enjoy it. Yes we let her go crazy on things like that and she has every toy imaginable from mini grand pianos to a suitcase full of barbies. We also are known for our crazy birthday parties where last year we had a circus in our backyard to this year we are traveling back to the old west with a pony and trackless train. You should be happy that your kid can enjoy this free fun day for you on my dime ha ha! But don't judge this is just me and the party planner in me. However, I do not find it acceptable that you don't give your child a birthday party at all.. You should always give your child a birthday party to show them how special they are to you. NO I am not saying that you have to go all crazy like I do..but if you want to..I can show you how. But your kid should have a party even if its homemade gifts, a homemade cake, and just their siblings, whatever is in your budget or what you believe in remember they only have so many birthdays that they will want to spend with you...
Anyways I am out-- ill let you know how the marriage retreat goes
Ashleigh
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